WASTEMAN JUS DNT CHAT SHIT..
UR BARS R FAKE N UNO IT..
WEN U ON DA MIC U DNT KNO HOW TO SPIT..
EACH BAR IS DA TRUTH N U HAV 2 ADMIT..
MY WORDS R HURTIN U BUT JUS SHUTUP N SIT..
COZ WEN IM FINISHED MERKIN U'LL B THINKIN 2 QUIT..
IM MERKIN WASTEMANZ EVRI BIT BY BIT..
COZ DEY BLAMIN ADAS 4 DA CRIME DEY COMMIT..
IM SPITTIN 4 BARS MAKIN U IGNITE..
BLOWIN U UP LYK A DYNAMITE..
SPITTIN FASTER DAN DA SPEED OF LITE..
DATS HOW FAST IM GNA MAKE U TINK 2NITE..
U SITTIN @ HOME THINKIN OF BARS 2 RITE..
DNT WORRY KEEP TINKIN IM NT GNA BITE..
JUS B READY WEN U COM 2 HAV DA MIC FITE..
COZ I'LL B FREESTYLIN IN DA SPOTLITE..
I KNO HOW 2 SPIT N IVE MASTERD DA FLOW..
DATS Y IVE BEEN PLAYED ON EVRI RADIO..
U FOUND OUT NOW DEN UR TOO SLOW..
COZ IM MOVIN FAST N IM RULING DA SHOW..
tempa u cant write ur own shit... yet u just talk about image... not real life shit.. u could feed bigmoh's stuff cos u dnt know what criteria u lookin for...
as for Moh... dude u elevated and props to u for doing so... u got ur basic flow down however u need to unchoppify it because if u read what you wrote in your first 4... with syllables counted you get...
WASTEMAN JUS DNT CHAT SHIT.. 6 syllables
UR BARS R FAKE N UNO IT.. 8 Syllables
WEN U ON DA MIC U DNT KNO HOW TO SPIT.. 10 syllables
EACH BAR IS DA TRUTH N U HAV 2 ADMIT.. 10 Syllables
if you wrote them slightly different and re-read your material you would have noticed this and it would have flowed like this for example... You must learn to think before you can write Moh. Dont give up On your self as you are improving and expanding... even tho you dont write often invent games with your friends or colleagues to just mess around with during your break or lunchhour where you think of a word and you take it in turns to rhyme with that word until one fails and then he/she must do a forfeit to add the fun into it... that way even tho u aint writin no material u are implanting Rhymes in your head...
Anyway if u re-wrote it'd be like this
YOU WASTEMAN... JUS DNT CHAT SHIT.. 8 syllables counting the pause
UR A PUSSYOLE WHO'S FAKE N'U NO IT.. 9 syllables
WEN U ON DA MIC U DNT KNO HOW TO SPIT.. 10 syllables
EACH BAR IS DA TRUTH N U HAV 2 ADMIT.. 10 syllables
see how that sounds so much better now ur syllables match up, not keeping a direct balance but the flow is not choppy like before, where ur syllables didn't match up thus knocking your flow off and making it sound nasty, Even em up and see how much better it sounds, i'm not saying put odd words here and there, Just add a word or take a word or two out to even it and get the same message across or even add words ... but thats just me with my flow... you might spit and it sounds cool, and not choppy...
Anyhow thats ur flow as for content u've mastered it, ur chattin real life stuff and not bubbles like tempa atm... however dont force your rhymes as they generally dont make sense if it dont fit in dont make it fit... Your verses should be like a jigsaw... if you do it correctly you see the pretty picture, if you don't u aint seeing nothin nice... take your time with your stuff... read through Radikulus's or my or young Krack or something like that's Previous Drops in the 'Lyricstalk Grime Mandem' thread and see how we structure our verse...
an Example of a forced line...
JUS B READY WEN U COM 2 HAV DA MIC FITE..
WTF is a mic fite... dude its a clash... see how u forced it to make it fit... if you use this stuff in a battle thats personal number one... Strike 1, Strike 2, Strike 3...Yourrrrr OUT!!!... Think About it...